To be Black in Sonoma County

Sonoma County prides itself on being a bastion of liberal, free-thinking, empowering and open-minded people. But the last four years in this country—culminating with the insurrection at the Capitol—continue to expose the intense undercurrent of racism and white supremacy movements that are very much alive. Even here in our own backyard. I wanted you to hear from some local voices about what it’s like to be Black in Sonoma County. And since my column is “Inside The Music” we will explore this through the eyes and hearts of local musicians. I’m truly grateful that each of them took the time to share so much of themselves—it’s SO important for us all to listen and really hear what they are saying.

• Benjamin Mertz is a composer and performer, a human rights and racial justice activist, and the founder/director of Sebastopol's Joyful Noise! Gospel Singers.

• Hoytus Rolen is a musician, composer and fine artist. He's been teaching music in Sonoma County for over 35 years—22 of them with People’s Music in Sebastopol.

• Eki Shola is a Cornell University-trained physician and musician. She was just voted Best Electronica Artist in Sonoma for the fourth year in a row.

• Dido George is an artist/creator from Windsor. He is a singer, rapper and producer, an inventor signed to Empire Distribution Co, and a WaveBuilder Wave King.

• Dell Parker is a singer and songwriter, a veteran of Bay Area musical theatre and an advocate for the LGBTQ community.

• Kayatta Patton is a rapper, poet, producer and middle school teacher. She was just voted Best Hip Hop Artist in Sonoma for the second year in a row.

There are currently around 10,000 Black Americans living in Sonoma County, which is about 2.1% of the total county population (nationwide, Black Americans are around 13.5% of the population). These six voices certainly do not speak for everyone of course, but there are many commonly-shared experiences.

After the insanity at the Capitol, it took the news and social media only a couple hours to begin trying to compare it to the Black Lives Matter protests last year—which were in response to the vicious death of George Floyd—but were just as much an expression of a centuries-old aching for common decency, for equality, and the pain of the burden of carrying around in their hearts and souls the demoralizing history of endless numbers of Black Americans killed by those in power.

That evening, I had a conversation with Benjamin, who had just posted this on Facebook:

“Being Black in America is fighting back a scream every day. It's pitching your voice just right to make sure you're not perceived as a threat. It's getting the taillight fixed immediately so you don't get pulled over and murdered. You know how exhausting this is? Being in love with a country that hates you so much? That’s how much some of you hate me. And tragically, don't even know it. Don’t even see the connection. Putting on this smile is how I survive. I've been doing it a long time. I'm practiced. You haven't practiced anything as hard as I've practiced being acceptable to whites as a Black man in America.”

Everyone echoed Benjamin’s comments about being perceived as a threat, of having to change how they behave, change who they are in front of others, because they face constant attitude and apprehension.

Dido summed it up: “You can feel the energy change in the room when I walk in. When I walk in a store I feel the energy change. I wear a Do Rag ‘cause I’m a rapper, so people automatically equate that with somebody being a thug. Or I say hi and people don’t respond back to me... I’m a God-fearing man, so I want to show love to everybody, it’s just in me. And at the same time, it can get so frustrating and some days it’s like, I don’t give a damn what people think about me today! But I just can’t do it. It’s not in me. It wasn’t how I was raised. People say it's okay be yourself, but no...”

For Dell, this has resulted in a loss of identity: “My parents conditioned me and my two older sisters to be able to blend in with our white counterparts. They taught us to act a certain way, carry yourself a certain way, dress a certain way. If you ever come in contact with law enforcement, it’s ‘yes sir, no sir’ a very subservient attitude, don’t do anything that’s going to call attention to yourself. The downfall is sometimes thinking that I’ve lost myself—of who I may have been—and some of my own culture because I’ve separated myself over the years.”

Dido added, “I'm the only Black family in my apartment complex, so it's really weird trying to keep my identity while at the same time trying not to offend people.”

And this perception of being a threat carries over to local law enforcement in endless ways. Kayatta said, “I’ve got two college degrees and I’ve got to make sure my taillight works, make sure my insurance is good, make sure all my lights work and they’re still gonna pull me over anyway.”

Dell: “I could dress in a three-piece suit every day, use the Queen’s English as I walk down these streets here in Sonoma County, but that will not stop cops from pulling me over for no reason at all. I got pulled over for having a light out above my license plate, I’ve gotten pulled over because I had the tassel from my graduation cap hanging from my rear-view mirror. So I’ve learned that no matter how I act or talk, it’s not going to stop me from being mistreated, and treated differently than white people.”

Dido: “When I do a show, I got to pray I make it home. Literally I pray, God please let me make it home safely with no police interference—that's my prayer every time ‘cause I know that's what's going to happen. It’s a Hip Hop show, of course they’re sitting around the corner waiting.”

But WHY is this happening?

The most recent data from the California Department of Justice shows that only 7% of crimes in Sonoma County were committed by Blacks, compared to 63% by non-Hispanic whites. Yeah, read that again. That’s nine times more crime committed by whites. So does this kind of treatment sound right to you? Does it sound fair? Does it sound like it represents that Sonoma County feeling we love?

Obviously it’s a question that doesn’t have an easy answer. And with every word I write, I’m haunted by the idea that it’s all been said before—and yet, here we still are...

Eki Shola said, “We’ve been socialized to be polarized. A fractured community is easier to control by fear. If we’re unified then we hold power and those above will not stand for that.”

Hoytus was born in Kansas City. “I had crosses burning in the front yard when I was little. I did some of my first gigs just across the river in Missouri on what used to be ‘slave blocks’. There’s always going to be people that will not like you for whatever reason. Because of our [previous] President and all of the s---, if they’re emboldened to act upon a dislike of you, then they’ll do that. If they feel they won’t get any punishment for that, they’ll do that. We just happen to be in a country that’s built on slavery and genocide. And people that have heart and spirit and consciousness know that the promise of America was inclusive. Completely inclusive. And we’re still trying really hard to make it real. Hasn’t happened yet.”

Dell said, “I definitely have experienced people being a lot more ballsy than they had been before. I was walking downtown Santa Rosa last summer (at the time of the BLM marches in DC) and these guys in a car waiting to turn at a light just yelled the N-word at me, and I was just like ‘where did that even come from?’ It was just ridiculous, but of course they’re not gonna come to my face and say anything like that, I’m 6’2”. I just laugh it off most times, and besides I grew up hearing that in South Carolina where I grew up.”

But it’s a constant flood of microaggressions. And it happens a lot. Kayatta told the story of managing an after-school enrichment program in Petaluma for five years. “It’s this amazing program and honestly when they offered me the job, I'm like ‘you want me to work there?’ It was nothing but white people there, I'm Black, I'm queer, my hair is kinky, I listen to Hip Hop, you really want me to work here? So one time a family came in and I have three other staff that I manage and supervise and they went directly to one of my staff—right to the older white lady and started asking about the program. And she said ‘no, you don't really want to talk to me you want to talk to HER over there.’ And I probably got my hat to the back that day, I’m always just unapologetically myself, and that lady had to make that long u-turn to come and talk to me. She was probably not even conscious that in her mind ‘oh that Black woman cannot possibly be in a position of being in charge.’ It’s little stuff like this that’s constant (Dido echoed that “Yeah, it’s automatic”), I had to convince them that this is OK. I know it’s not normally what you’re used to seeing, but your children are in good hands.”

I kept coming back to what Benjamin said:“You know how exhausting this is? Being in love with a country that hates you so much?” Kayatta agreed. “I'm glad that he said it the way he did. To be in a place that doesn’t care about you. I absolutely love Sonoma County! The landscape, the people that I've met, the impact it's had on my life. But then there's this other layer to it. There’s not a lot of diversity, but I deal with it.” Dido shook his head, “It sticks with me how I’m looked at and treated in this place that I love.”

Then there was a very poignant moment in all this... I asked “OK, so what now? How can we get this message across in a way that readers could really learn something they can put to use—that could spark genuine change? What more would you like to share to help folks understand what it’s like?”

Kayatta: “It’s not our jobs to encourage people to do the work. They have to want to do it. You need to make a great effort to understand the inequity in this country that you and your ancestors have contributed to consciously and subconsciously. But even though it's not my job to do, we find ourselves doing it. We're so used to doing it, we’re programmed.” Eki Shola: “These talks right here… in this column need to be among everyone. It can’t be us Blacks again and again and again educating everyone on being Black… and for free. That’s burdensome and I don’t believe it sparks the beginning of empathy which is what is needed for true change to occur.

“How many whites do you think will really care and want to read this? Furthermore, how enlightened does one become after reading about the microaggressions, societal challenges, police brutality, health inequities, racism… and the list goes on and on… from the comforts of one's reading space. I think it perpetuates the us versus them mentality.”

It's not just whites.

Dido lives in Windsor. “Every race around where I'm at is apprehensive of Black people. But I refuse to change my appearance to be accepted by anybody. I'm going to come in the way I am and then I’m gonna show you I'm not some aggressive whatever you see on the news—whatever propaganda they put on the news. I actually know a family that moved here from Mexico, and their father was telling them ‘don't hang around Black people’.”

Hoytus told us about Ibram X. Kendi “who put out a book recently called Stamped From The Beginning. And it’s not just Black folks, it’s white folks, all of us. As long as we’re kept separate, as long as we’re kept from knowing each other, as long as we’re told the lies that we’re told, the people that run everything will continue running everything. And they run us. They have our heartstrings in all kinds of ways.”

Dell was conditioned at a young age to fit in. “In whatever setting, have a certain dial... so when you’re with a certain group of people, this is how you act—when you’re with your own, you can let loose. I used to censure myself with certain topics, because I just didn’t want to have to get into an argument with people about stupid stuff. Or comment on their ignorance. But now I’ve been calling people on their stuff more lately—‘cause I’m tired of it. I used to have to bite my tongue a lot because I’d hear conversations and little comments here and there that were racist—but I’m getting to the point now where I’m trying to point it out to them. It’s stupid that we’re in 2021 and we’re still having these conversations.”

Dido: “But we know that it’s going to happen and we know we have to do it. We know we have to explain to people, we have to convince people that it’s OK. But you know at the end of the day I know nobody truly gets it, because you can change the way you think, you could change how you act, but you can't change the skin color. Sometimes I'll get the random person come out of nowhere and try to talk to me about what's going on with Black people and that’s okay, I understand that some people want to be a little bit understanding, they want to understand the Black problem.”

But that’s the thing... These folks are not the problem. They—and millions more—are the recipients of OUR problems. And if we, as members of the supposedly liberal Sonoma County community can still be hearing about these issues and it’s not changing... It’s demeaning and just flat out wrong for “us” to be asking “them” what needs to be done to make things better. We KNOW the answers. We just have to have the courage and resolve to listen to the part of us that knows what’s right.

So my question to my beloved Sonoma County community is: where do we start in our very real 2021 lives to make a difference here? Not conceptual, warm fuzzy platitudes—but down in the shit of it all, real life, day-to-day, person-to-person change. How you describe someone to your children? Do you use color as a descriptor? If so, why? How do you think about—and treat—your clients, co-workers, employees that are “different” from you? Do you act differently when you’re around a person of color? If so, then just be honest with yourself and make a decision to get to know more and more people that don’t look like you. I can promise you, it won’t take long to start to see The Person inside that skin.

Benjamin suggested that we explore film and books that speak powerfully on these issues, such as Ava DuVernay’s “13th,” James Baldwin’s I Am Not Your Negro, authors Michelle Alexander or Robin DiAngelo.

And let’s be clear—this racism is not just being experienced by Black Americans, but by everyone of color, of international origin, of non-conforming gender and orientation... Since 65% of our Sonoma County community is white, and Sonoma Media Investments estimates a monthly Gazette readership of 100,000 that should be around 65,000 sets of eyes and hearts that may read this... So if you're a caring human being—as SoCo is so known for—what WILL you do? I want to hear from my community! Don’t let this end here. Email me: [David@OrdinaryMiracles.com] and I will share your thoughts.