Commentary: Something rotten in Sonoma County

When I first drafted what became a life-changing article, "Stop empowering predators like Foppoli," I included a section about the private high school I attended: Sonoma Academy. The section never went to print in part because the story was not on the public record. Today, thanks to the bravery of Emma McAleavy, Clio Wilde, and other fellow alumni known as The Athena Project, I can finally share my thoughts on my high school Alma Mater's role in leaving the young people of Sonoma County vulnerable to sexual predation.

I attended private high school not because my family was wealthy — we weren’t — but because we were afraid of the homophobia in my hometown of Windsor’s public school system. When I met other LGBTQIA+ youth who attended Windsor High School through the Santa Rosa nonprofit Positive Images, I learned my parents’ fears had been warranted. Sonoma Academy protected me from physically violent homophobia and name-calling.

However, it did not succeed in protecting me from predators. While I was never victimized by humanities instructor Marco Morrone, I was the opposite of surprised to learn he was fired last year after an internal investigation into allegations of misconduct with students.

I didn’t know the term “rape culture” when I attended Sonoma Academy from 2005-2009. Yet, already my educational opportunities were being shaped by predators in my midst. Much like how Domonic Foppoli’s tendencies were common knowledge amongst the women and femmes of Active 20-30, every potential target of Marco’s (we call teachers by their first names at Sonoma Academy) was aware that he was flirty with his favorite female students. I had also spoken to students who gleefully recounted flirting with him, and him flirting back. At the time it felt like rejection, but now I breathe a heavy sigh of relief and anger. Read that again: at the age of 16, I was openly discussing flirtation with a teacher with my peers. I can honestly say I felt like there was something “wrong” with me because Marco didn’t flirt with me.

I firmly believe that one of the reasons that Marco’s reign went on for so long is related to another one of Sonoma Academy failings during my time as a student: their lackluster mental health services. In theory, a competent counseling program would catch the kind of behavior Marco exhibited because students would be comfortable seeking help. When I attempted to take advantage of Sonoma Academy's mental health services, I went to see Carolyn McAleavy, who is a parent of Sonoma Academy students. If Carolyn's last name looks familiar, it is because one of her daughters is Emma McAleavy, the first student to report Marco to the school all the way back in 2007.

I would have preferred a counselor who gave me more space to express myself, and I found that she spent much of our sessions doing the talking. Even if she were the most talented counselor in the world, I believe that schools should endeavor to hire mental health practitioners who are not related to students. While Carolyn has retired, I am baffled by Sonoma Academy's insistence on keeping Ellie on staff after she has failed us so horribly. If women like Ellie and Carolyn — the godmother and mother of one of Marco’s targets — couldn’t step up for the students of Sonoma Academy, who could?

I first learned that Marco had been fired from Sonoma Academy in April 2021. On the 12th, I reached out to the Head of School, Tucker Foehl, to express that I thought the school should be making restitution to targets in order to cover the cost of mental health services related to Marco’s misconduct. Not only that, the school should be seeking out targets who may not have previously felt safe coming forward. I also said I thought there needed to be further investigation into who bore responsibility for allowing Marco to remain a teacher for so long.

My correspondence also expressed frustration about the sexual culture at large at Sonoma Academy, not just Marco’s behavior. When I received my sex education at Sonoma Academy, one (female) presenter offered the young women of my grade a hand job workshop to give us an alternative to just lying back and opening our legs for our boyfriends. There was no talk of LGBTQIA+ existence. I got nothing from that experience except shame for not being sexually active enough to need a hand job workshop.

On April 19, I followed up with Tucker to express concern that, while perusing LinkedIn looking for candidates to recruit to my education nonprofit, I came across Marco’s profile. I asked Tucker what he would do had I pursued Marco as a potential hire, and I had contacted Sonoma Academy to inquire about him. The school never answered that question. Indeed, when Tucker privately responded to me on April 28th, he did not explain why Sonoma Academy refuses to implement my recommendations. He did not apologize for any actions taken by the school.

However, in the face of public allegations, Sonoma Academy has finally found time to address Marco's toxicity. In his lengthy statement to alums, Head of School Tucker Foehl spent approximately nine paragraphs making two things very clear:

1.He is the brand new head of school, and we should have faith in him as a leader

2.Marco did not have sexual relations with those students

I am disgusted by the importance placed on what Marco didn't do. I am sick, tired, and angry from living in a world where no one seems to care about sexual misconduct until someone has been raped. If we are going to talk about sexual assault prevention, we need to talk about sexual predation in all of its forms, including the impact of the sexual objectification of young women by their teachers.

What worries me now is the same thing that worries me about the response to Foppoli’s demise: sure, Morrone is facing his reckoning. But what about his enablers? What about the administrators who kept him on board for 18 years? What about his colleagues who looked up to him when they should have been disgusted by him?

As a professional educator, I certainly feel disgusted as I reflect on not just how normalized Marco’s flirtations were, but on how popular he seemed amongst male students, faculty, and staff during my time there. Not only was Marco publicly objectifying my classmates, but he was celebrated as a role model while doing so.

I wish this article could now pivot to discussing how we attack rape culture head on. We can’t afford to continue relying on reactive “solutions” that only address assaults once they have occurred. We need to move forward to implementing sexual assault prevention. And I’ll get to that.

However, I first want to make sure you understand the scope of what the people of Sonoma County are facing. We just learned that a school charging $48,190 per year covered up at least seven years of sexual misconduct. In April, local politician David Cook pled “no contest” to felony sexual molestation charges. We also learned former Sebastopol mayor Robert Jacob would face 11 felony charges related to sexual assault of children. Child sex trafficking happens here: more than 200 cases of human trafficking have been filed by the District Attorney’s office since 2011. The average age for a victim to be forced into the sex industry in Sonoma County is estimated to be between 12-14 years.

Finally, we just spent an entire month demanding Dominic Foppoli’s resignation from his position of mayor as increasingly disturbing allegations began to surface against him. Eventually, one of the most successful lobbyists under the Trump administration, Robert Stryk, felt the need to step in and defend Foppoli, who he considered a close friend. He finally resigned after public figure Farrah Abraham became the ninth accuser. She is represented by Spencer Kuvin, a prominent attorney best known for representing Jeffrey Epstein’s victims. It appears the national Old Boys’ Club, not just the local chapter, cares deeply about maintaining rape culture in Sonoma County. As home of the Bohemian Grove, famous playground of rich, powerful men, Sonoma County shouldn’t be surprised.

For each of these incidents, we could spend an entire article exploring the disturbing scope of these powerful mens’ influence, and the implications about the organizations they associated with. While all of the notable predators thus far are men, there is a disturbing pattern of women protecting them, a common element of rape culture. For example, Foppoli’s now defunct security company had financial ties to Catholic Charities, and his former girlfriend Amy Holter is a Director there. She notably wrote a character defense of Foppoli in 2017 when Windsor Town Council was discussing sexual allegations that had been brought to their attention.

The scope of what we’re facing is scary, but it's exciting. We have the opportunity to stand up to “the big bad” we all know is out there, but can’t quite agree on a name for: the rich and powerful who are not really Democrat or Republican, but play those roles on TV and on Twitter to keep us divided against each other. We have the opportunity to make a difference that resonates beyond Sonoma County and remind people what can be accomplished when we stand in solidarity.

So, what do I propose we do? That’s the exciting part about taking on issues this pervasive. There’s lots of effective actions to be taken.

The brave alums of Sonoma Academy have made their demands clear: “The seven women Wednesday called on the school to pursue a wider investigation to give all affected alumni a chance to come forward. Restitution should also be offered to any potential victims, they said. Through a mediation process called “restorative justice,” they are trying to come to an agreement without resorting to litigation.” The most important thing we can always do is empower those who were victimized by following their lead. We can do that by following the lead of the women themselves on The Athena Project's website and signing the solidarity statement here.

Before you take on too much additional work, educate yourself. I personally recommend reading Not That Bad, an anthology from Roxane Gay that investigates the tangible nature of rape culture. Ask clarifying questions, then begin offering your opinions and suggestions once you gain familiarity with the material. Be gentle with yourself as you navigate these heavy topics.

On a practical level, I advocate for bolstering bystander intervention trainings and advocacy services. While I think these kinds of trainings could be beneficial to anyone, we especially must provide them for people in the restaurant and service industries. These trainings should emphasize skills to protect guests and staff alike from predators like Foppoli and Marco. Advocacy services must be robust and accessible to ensure people don’t have to worry about retaliation. Workers should take leadership in designing and implementing these programs and services.

We need to look at the alcohol, drug, and sex ed we’re providing for our children, and how messaging may reinforce rape culture. We must actively make sure it is working against rape culture by including topics like consent and boundaries throughout childhood. Advocates For Youth is a great place to explore resources.

The leadership in Sonoma County needs an overhaul. Ever thought you’d make a great city council member? Mayor? Run for something. We need you. The old guard can’t be pushed out until there’s a new guard to take their place. However, the failure of leadership does not just apply to local government. The predators in our midsts’ enablers are Executive Directors of nonprofits, CEOS of hugely successful companies, and board members for prominent organizations of all kinds. Too often, we forget the importance of finding the right replacement after someone has been removed from a position of power. Then, it is like they were never really removed because they are replaced by someone who will repeat the same mistakes.

In Windsor, we are already seeing new leadership come into power who don’t fit the old mold. Rosa Reynoza, who recently won a special election, has always been a voice for political transparency and community empowerment. Her victory is a testament to the fact that new leadership is out there, if we’re willing to go look for it and give it a chance to flourish. Now is the time to look for that leadership and advocate for it, as Windsor residents did when they demanded Reynoza replace Foppoli as Windsor’s mayor. We must not be deterred that the Council predictably ignored their constituents and selected insider Sam Salmon. We must remember our collective power and continue to demand what we deserve from the county’s institutional leaders. If they won’t listen, we — the next generation of leaders — are ready to do their jobs for them.