Senior Momentum: It's Not: Either/Or

It’s Not:  Either/Or!

We seniors used to handle change better because we were doing it!

Now that our kids and grands are the doers, it’s gotten pretty scary for some.

Yes, changes can hurt … and frighten.  Before you know it, resistance rears its head, then doubts, fears and frustration start weaving their stubborn webs before we can clearly see our way.

Life’s full of changes -- we know that!   Somewhere between the merits of a change and the resistance to it there has to be some common ground.             You know, a place where the wisdom of the past, the realities of the present and the changes trying to happen can meet and co-operate?

If only it was all that simple.  But it’s not, and that’s the truth.  Too much becomes an either/or tug of war 

I have spoken with many seniors who are flat out resistant to this electronic era on grounds that argue singularly for ”the good old days.”

What I hear coming through the frustrations is the feeling that something huge just rolled over them like a tidal wave. Something that makes them feel swept away and obsolete. 

The good old days?  Huh?  You mean back when we used onionskin paper to make four or five carbon copies while pushing keys that slammed your knuckle joints into future arthritic war zones?  And how about those tub washing machines with the hand-fed wringers mounted on the side.  Yes, I really want to trade some of those babies for my laptop and automatic washer/dryer combo!  (And those samples are just from a female perspective!)  No. No. No!

Too much hindsight gets in the way!  Often remembrances are colored with selective recollection: remembering things as we wish they had been -- easier, finer, more comfortable, and familiar – not as they really were.

It may seem that years ago change was more gradual and measured; it would phase in, with time to consider, plan, and adjust.  But is that really true?  Did our great granddads and moms always gracefully accept changes? I doubt it.  But I don’t doubt that those evolutions did happen more slowly.

When we peel away the whining, isn’t it really the pace of change that scares many today? It’s an instant gratification generation that wants it all, and wants it now!  (Like obsessively clinging to small blinking devices 24/7, to not miss anything; and where eye contact and reasonable attention spans are things of the past.)

Aren’t we the generation that wanted it better for our kids?  Better opportunities and better educations? Well, they changed their universe just like we changed ours -- and now, we are not so sure about embracing it!

Actually, we grew up in a frugal era, and this feels like a disposable one. 

No!  I do not have to “upgrade” my cell phone before it wears out; but I want my cell phone! No.  I do not need to replace my fat TV monitors with flat screens before they die natural deaths.  In fact, I still have one fat spare left in the storage shed, waiting for the one in the backroom to die. The living room has moved up to a 19” Flat, and I like it! A lot! 

Yes! I am very grateful for MRI’s, CATscan’s, deeply comprehensive blood analysis technology, a laptop key board that is kind to my old finger joints (several of which have been tuned up like an old car), vacuum cleaners that keep the dust out of our interior environments, and the automated USPS that gets my old-fashioned hand-written letters to my sis in record time!

We can’t have it all; we don’t want it all.  But I sure want some of it!

For me, it’s not either/or.   It’s “and.”

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Zoë Tummillo is a Business & Marketing Consultant/Trainer/Commercial Writer, dba COMMUNICATION CONCEPTS, in private practice since 1974.   In addition to Commercial work, she writes “Senior Momentum:  A Series of Situations”ã; “Pieces of My Path”. essay memoirs of growing up first generation Italian American; and Senior Momentum:  Front And Center!ã. To contact her: email: writingservice@earthlink.net   Phone:  707-494-2629  Write:  P. O. Box 205 Lakeport California 95453